How do you typically respond to criticism? Do you make excuses or lash back with criticism of your own? “This fight-or-flight response is natural and common but isn’t very productive. It cuts off communication, often just when it’s needed most,” says Jean Lebedun, Ph.D., author of the video program The Art of Criticism—Giving and Taking. Many supervisors don’t give criticism in a patient, tactful manner. But you should learn to accept criticism so you can take those lessons and learn from your mistakes.
It isn’t always easy to hear criticism of your work, but you channel it into positive results by using Dr. Lebedun’s “4-A Formula”: Anticipate, Ask questions, Agree with something, and Analyze.
Anticipate
You need to accept that everyone makes mistakes, and that many times you’ll be criticized for them. If you have that attitude, hearing criticism won’t come as a surprise.
“You anticipate criticism by asking yourself, ‘What can I learn from this criticism?’ Then, whenever you feel yourself growing defensive or getting angry, you repeat the question, ‘What can I learn?’” advises Dr. Lebedun. Here’s another way to anticipate criticism—admit your mistake first before your supervisor has an opportunity to say anything to you. This makes your supervisor’s job easier and makes you appear more professional.
Ask questions
Many times, people who criticize are letting off steam and may exaggerate the problem. This is especially true when they use words like “always” and “never.” So it’s important to pinpoint the real issue by asking questions like, “What part of the report didn’t you like? What aspect of my attitude makes life at work difficult for you? Could you give me an example?”
Asking questions accomplishes two things—it gives you specific information on how you can improve, and it teaches people they’ll have to be specific when they criticize you.
Agree with something
When faced with criticism, most people focus on the negative feedback and ignore the rest. This doesn’t solve any problems, and you won’t learn anything. When you agree with one part of the criticism, you become more open to learning. An easy way to accept criticism is to say something like, “You might be right; my report doesn’t have all the details.”
“You don’t have to agree with everything; even agreeing with one small aspect of the criticism will create an atmosphere of teamwork,” says Dr. Lebedun. “The focus then can become how you’ll work together to solve a problem, which will lessen your feeling of being attacked.”
Analyze
Finally, take a break and evaluate what you’ve heard. You need to take time to process the information, determine the criticism is valid, and decide what you’ll do to solve the problem or correct the mistake. If you’ve heard this complaint repeatedly, you should think about what you can learn from the situation so it doesn’t happen again.
Dr. Lebedun says the benefits of the 4-A Formula are that you’ll look for solutions rather than excuses, remain in control of your emotions, and appear more professional.
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